solitous diaspora

today was -----. many many things happened.
some happy. some sad. i kind of expected it to happen already. anyway, was quite pleased with my informal letter. i thought i wrote wrongly since there were like 4 members in the family and i wrote 5. yet, i got 20/30. zz. okay. that's probably the only happy thing that happen to me today. the rest were like so uh, negative? ---

andireallycantseemtocatchupwiththepaceasiunravelledmoreandmorestoriesfromdifferentpeople. oh well. maybe i am ageing/obstrasizing myself from the crowd already. i dont know. i hate the feeling of trying to pretend i am actually okay outside, but yet i am suffering like hell inside. sometimes i dont get what people are trying to tell me. sometimes i feel so useless. i cant even comfort my friend who needs me. i cant even cheer my friends up. i realised that most of us are emo-ing these period of time, it's weird. i think it's sooner or later i will be all alone by myself. i have already prepared myself for it if it really happens. i dont think anyone can help me now.