solitous diaspora

sigh. what can i say now? been feeling so tired of acting as though i am happy in front of others. dont want to care about how people feel anymore. forget it. valentine's coming and i am starting to regret promising so many people that i am buying for them. sometimes i buy something better for some people, others will get jealous and demand more from me. sigh. enough about all this. now studies. the tons and tons of homework is killing me alright. i dont know how others can cope with it. i am able to handle it but it's really too much, especially english. really gonna break down already. all the teachers are expecting all those A grades from us as they compared the O level thingey with us. i feel so stressed suddenly. i dont know why i came into 3c anyway. if i had known it would be so stressed, i should have chose course B instead. sigh. it's no point crying over spilt milk now though. everything dont seem to go well with me. i tried hard and it seems as though my efforts did not pay off at all. i started thinking again. why cant i be a non-living thing or some another thing instead of a human? sighsighsigh.