#67 -

A surge of nostalgia overwhelmed me when you said everything and hit the nail.

You were right. No doubt there's a change. Perhaps I was too preoccupied with my new friends and accustoming to JC's life. I've changed. We've both changed.

But I am really thankful for 4years of memories we have together, be it happy or sad.

I will forever remember our jokes, 'my bag is bigger than my ass' and stupid incidents of laughing crazily and me throwing the Amaths textbook on your back to test whether it hurts or not.

Gone were those times where we can laugh heartily, where we are carefree and not caring whether we offend each other or not. You were my advisor, I was your listener. Everything seems perfect.

Then both of us changed, nothing we can do can make it normal anymore.

I just want to say thanks for being my good friend these 4 years, and hope that despite the fact that we've drifted further apart, I really hope we can still remain as friends. Not just those acquaintances-like friend. More than just-a-hello-when-we-meet type of friends, yeah?

As afraid/reluctant as I am to face this cruel fact, I am glad you brought this up and try to end all sufferings.

I hope that your life in Poly would be fulfilling and stop emo-ing anymore, I do read your blog! Everytime so emo one. After you go Poly, there must be a change, there doesn't seem to be a cheery entry in your blog at all and it's a big whole chunk of words. Don't worry so much already, will have wrinkles. Stay happy always and may we meet again if fate permits. (:

I wish to cry, but my tears refused to flow out.

I can cry no more, no longer the crybaby I used to be 3years ago.
And all because of that,
I feel very uneasy as though my heart doesn't belong to me at all.
It's not very nice to have a lot of things happening to me at the same time,
and yet I can't do anything to make myelf feel better.
As much as I want to cry and let it all out,
I can't.

Perhaps I really have change,
and the change is permanent.

I am confused now, over this and everything.