#407 -

❝Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.❞

But everday, when I try to find a reason to be happy, nothing seems to work.

I really want the world to end soon.

As soon as possible.

Every moment being awake/conscious is so torturing because it means I have to face the reality.

Call me a coward, I would push my troubles all the way to the back of my head and refuse to face them.

I think my life pretty much sucks now, although if compared to those in third world countries, my life is wayyyyy better.

But I don't want to compare myself with them.

It is unfair from the start.

So instead, I compare with the people around me.

Everyone seems to be leading a good life, with nothing to worry or to fret about. (Or so they seem to potray to me)

Their lives are so perfect I see no flaws, they have a bright future.

I have nothing.

Sometimes I wish my life was like a tv drama, with the script of my life written and the ending planned.

This way I would just follow the script and do what I am supposed to do.

I wouldn't have to worry what is gonna happen to me if I don't do this or that.

My ending is planned, and I will just leave all to fate.

But then again, if I know what would happen, I might do something to change how it might happen.

Human beings are never contented.

Who am I to say that my life sucks?

I don't know what others may be going through right now.

Who knows on the outside, someone's life may seem perfect, but inside, it's all fucked up?

I don't know. I am confused. I am lost. And nobody can help me.

Because I have nothing now.